


Scared and Dark

by RedXD



Series: Hermit Fear Headcanons [1]
Category: Hermitcraft RPF
Genre: Angst, Bdubs needs a hug, Comfort, Doc gives that hug, Hurt/Comfort, Nyctophobia, Panic Attacks, fear of the dark/night
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-29
Updated: 2020-05-29
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:14:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,758
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24437299
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedXD/pseuds/RedXD
Summary: There's a reason Bdubs always sleeps.
Relationships: BdoubleO100/Docm77, Docm77 & Bdoubleo100, Docm77/BdoubleO100
Series: Hermit Fear Headcanons [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1791832
Comments: 18
Kudos: 314





	Scared and Dark

**Author's Note:**

> this is highly inspired by the little panic moment in bdub's most recent ep

**Nyctophobia**

_ Noun _

Extreme or irrational fear of the night or of darkness.

—

Bdubs watches as Scar explains what he’s wanting done for the campaign. 

_ More things to do. I have the second poster, getting more supporters, I still need to finish my interiors so Etho can’t shame me, and-- I really hope this doesn’t affect my sleep schedule. _

Scar finishes with a smile, adjusting his monocle. 

Nodding, he simply stands up, stretching his arms above his head. His eyes glance at the sun. 

“It looks like it’ll be night soon.” He laughs to himself, placing down one of his shulker boxes so he can look for one of his trillions of beds. He searches through his mess of things only to come up empty. He doesn’t react at all though, simply checking his other two shulker boxes. 

_ It’s not in my second one… but I’m sure it’ll be in- _

_ Crap. _

Panic and adrenaline overrun his system, he smiles at Scar tightly and grabs his rockets, “I uh- I can’t find my beds so I’m just gonna- I’ll be right back.”

He jumps off the balloon, diving. His elytra opens up behind him and he rushes towards the nether portal closest. He gets there and gives a glance to the sky.

_ It’s setting, but it’s not night yet. I have time… I have time. _

Bdubs jumps into the purple, ominous portal. He can’t be out of bed when it's night. He has to be sleeping, he always has to be sleeping. It’s been at least a year since he wasn’t in bed when night came.

That night, a long time ago. It was horrifying. The night came, he was alone. Everyone else was away or busy. And when darkness covered the world, he was stuck in the shopping district. He still remembers being unable to see, being shrouded in darkness and unknown. He still remembers breathing becoming difficult. He still remembers being so cold that he dug into his arms with his fingers until warm blood covered his fingertips. 

He remembers that night perfectly. He just chooses to try and forget it. 

But as adrenaline pumps through his veins, he keeps thinking back to the fear, the utter horror of that night and it motivates him to go faster, faster. He has to get back to his base, to the plethora of beds for him to run to. He has to get back to safety, to protection, to a place where he can pretend the night doesn’t exist. If he sleeps through it, he’ll be fine. 

His hands clench as he finally reaches his portal. He grasps the edge of the portal, throwing himself inside. 

_ I can feel it, I’m running out of time. I can’t run out of time. I don’t want to be scared again. I refuse to be scared. Bdubs isn’t scared. He’s never scared. I want it to stay that way. _

The portal echoes through his ears. He steps out of it and onto the ground in front of his new base town. He has beds in every house, he can surely find one. He spots his flower shop and ducks inside. The sun is creeping closer and closer out of sight, but there’s still a bit of sunlight left. He still has time.

Bdubs slips inside and calms down.

_ I can just sleep in my bed here and it’ll all be fine. It’s fine. I’m not scared. Bdubs isn’t scared. _

He trots over to the bedroom in the back of the building, glancing inside with a smile. The bed will be there and it’ll be fine.

Or not.

His smile falls when he sees the bed he had placed there is gone. He swallows, the panic beginning to return. He sprints to the next closest house with a bed, heading inside. The bed is gone. He checks his first house in the little town. 

No bed. There’s not a single bed in any house. 

Bdubs glances at the sky and sees only a small sliver of the sun. It’ll be gone soon. Nightfall is approaching faster than a stampede. 

Taking shallow breaths, he goes towards his last resort:

His starter base. 

There’s plenty of beds there. 

He spams rockets, trying to beat the clock. Air rushes past him and he doesn’t spend a second to enjoy it, instead crashing into the ex-pufferfish pool. His elytra gets soaked, but it doesn’t matter. He crawls out of the pool and all but stumbles down into the basement of his half-house. The room is still amazing as Tango made it to be despite the remnants of Doc’s prank on it. 

All he cares about in the moment though, is the massive bed in the middle. He falls down the stairs and looks up, staring at the bed. 

Or more so: the lack of. 

_ Why are there no beds anywhere? _

_ Why is this happening to me? Where have all my beds gone? _

Fear beats down his back, sweat dripping from his forehead. He races upstairs, hoping to find a bed somewhere else around his starter base. But when he reaches the ground floor, his eyes widen.

Night has fallen. 

Darkness hugs him tightly despite the lights around his starter base. 

_ I’m not scared… I’m not scared… I’m not scared… _

But he is scared. He doesn’t want to admit it. But the second his eyes lock with the moon he crumbles. 

He collapses against a wall on the ground floor of his half-house, gasping for air. 

_ Why can’t I breathe? I should be able to breathe? _ __  
  


His palms become sweaty and shaky as he hugs his chest tightly. 

Even with the light, it’s as if his brain has turned off his sight. All he can see and feel is darkness and a cold chilling grasp on his neck and torso and head and hands. His head feels so heavy and why can’t he breathe? He can’t even remember. How can he remember? Shouldn’t he be able to remember how to breathe?

Bdubs finds himself feeling similar to that night a year ago. He’s so  _ cold _ and  _ alone _ and everything is so  _ dark _ and  _ terrifying _ . 

Shaking as he tightens his hold on himself, his face feels wet. He grits his teeth. 

_ I need warmth, I need light, I need something other than this. I hate this. Whywhywhywhywhywhy- _

A ringing starts in his ears and it’s loud and annoying and eerie and he hates it.

Everything grows more and more hard. Breathing, seeing, hearing. It all fades into a mixture of nothingness and emptiness. He doesn’t know why. Doc and Tango, the other hermits. They don’t react the same way he does to night. They don’t panic.

Maybe Bdubs is just a wuss. Maybe he keeps convincing himself that he’s brave when in reality he isn’t.

He digs his hands into his skin. It gives him some feeling. Some warmth. Something other than darkness and cold and nothing. He digs. He digs. He digs until he can’t. 

There’s something. There’s something he can’t quite recognize. It’s a warmth on his shoulders and back. There’s a sensation rolling up and down his back he doesn’t remember being there before. 

As if he is in an abyss of ink and blood, he tries to swim towards the warmth, the feeling. He tries to swim towards the light at the end of the tunnel. But the ink and blood are so thick and sticky and it pulls him down. The weight of his fear are like chains on his ankles and wrists and neck. He can’t escape it. He wants to. He wants the warmth. Why can’t he have the warmth?

Then something familiar shows up. He hears something. A voice. The words are a mess and he can’t focus on a single syllable… but he recognizes it. He can’t pinpoint from where or who, but he knows the voice. 

The chains weigh him down, they’re heavy. So very heavy. But he takes a deep breath and pushes. He hears the voice and feels the warmth. Every step towards the beam of hope in the distance. Every step makes it easier. Every step makes the chains a little lighter and the ink a little thinner. 

Step… after step. He crawls, reaching out towards the light. It’s closer now. He can almost reach it. 

“It’s okay…”

The voice. He can hear words. The voice reminds him of Doc. Maybe it is Doc. 

He finally reaches the end, he grips it tight and pulls himself towards it until he hugs it fixedly. 

Bdubs can hear Doc’s voice, “Try to breathe.”

The first thing he realizes is that he can feel a hand rubbing his back. He also notices another hand running through his hair. His arms are wrapped around Doc, clutching him tightly. 

“...Doc?”

Said male speaks softly and in a tone Bdubs’s has never heard from him, “Welcome back.”

Taking some time to simply  _ breathe _ , he holds onto the warmth radiating from Doc. It’s nice. He’d never have expected Doc to be capable of being so…  _ comforting _ . Maybe he doesn’t give the goatfather enough credit.

After a few minutes, he finally lets go. 

Doc lets go as well, leaning back, “Are you okay?”

Bdubs nods, wiping viciously at his face, realizing he must’ve been crying a lot. His face is wet and sticky and gross. 

The other waits a moment before his lips tighten into a thin, concerned line, “What happened? I came by here to get something and saw you crying and shaking.”

“I…” He swallows, glancing away from Doc, choosing to stare at the ground as he hugs himself, “I have an issue with nighttime.” 

The taller male blinks in confusion, “...A problem?”

Bdubs’s shoulders tighten as he sighs in frustration, “I’m.. I’m scared of nighttime.”

Doc’s eyes widen, “Oh… What happened to your beds?”

The smaller male shrinks into a ball, “They’re gone. I think someone pulled a prank on me and stole all my beds.”

“That’s a shitty move.”

He shrugs, “Well you’re the first person to know about my issue so…”

The other’s eyes soften and he smiles a small reassuring smile, “Do you want me to stay with you until it’s daytime?”

Bdubs freezes, “But what about your projects? Weren’t you working on something?”

Doc snickers, “You seem much more important than some machines.”

_ He’s… he’s not laughing at me for being afraid of night… _

His eyes move up to stare at Doc, “You sure you’re alright with staying with me? I-”

“ _ Yes. _ ”

He smiles, “Thank you.”

“Of course.”


End file.
